Yesterday was a strange day, and a good reminder of how far I've come over the last year. I'll get to that tomorrow; in the meantime, here's a summary of how far I've come:
One year ago this weekend, I started reading about paleo diets, and rapidly became engulfed my version of a primal/paleo lifestyle. It took over my way of thinking, acting, and interacting with the world. Over the course of four months, I went from eating oatmeal, yogurt, pounds of fruit each day, and salads, topped off at night with candy. A safe estimate of my daily caloric intake from the evening sugar binge is 50%. But despite exercising several hours each day and eating healthfully, I couldn't get rid of a layer of fat on my entire body, and the particularly persistent fat at my waistline. I did crunches like a madwoman, but never saw definition in my abs. Even when I weighed 103 lb in my mid-20s, I didn't have definition there. I would look at the people I passed on the street and wonder how they managed it. And yet, I was constantly hungry. I battled depression and anxiety. My body was tired from exercise. If I relaxed and ate more, or exercised less, the depression would grow stronger and I would put on weight in the form of fat. This simply didn't make sense -- was I forced to choose between constantly pushing and being uncomfortable, versus unhappiness and lethargy?
I also began to wonder if a lifelong dependence on hormonal contraceptives, while effective at its intended purpose of keeping my cystic acne at bay, was perhaps not conducive to one day having children. I turned 31 that spring, and my biological clock began to tick. It occurred to me that my dependence on the Pill (or, rather, the cystic acne) might indicate a fundamental illness that was going untreated. Several doctors had told me I likely had PCOS, although a formal diagnosis had never been made. I was lean (most women with PCOS are overweight), but I had never had a regular period and I had cystic acne that responded to anti-androgen medication -- to me, these were enough to constitute a diagnosis, and I believe they satisfy the official criteria.
Also, I had a strong suspicion that, despite my efforts, my health was deteriorating, and I was on track to develop diabetes, cancer, and cardiovascular disease. I strongly relied on my nightly sugar binge, to get me through the day and to sleep at night. I knew, however, that I had symptoms of insulin resistance, and I saw the signs with each night's blood sugar roller coaster. I also knew that the roller coaster wasn't nearly as big as it had been years before, indicating insulin resistance. Studies were being published on the cancer-promoting effects of sugar intake. But it tasted good, and I looked forward to evenings because I could finally have a full stomach. And I could not go a day without it.
Recap of Day 1 (actual food intake and exercise)
B: 1/2 tin sardines
L: 1/2 tin sardines
D: Chocolate chili, 2 lamb sausages, small amount of fatty meat from a beef broth I made a while back
Oops: 1 glass Ocean Spray on-the-go drink mix
Tracy Anderson hipcentric DVD 1.2
Walk to work (4 mi)
Walk at lunch (easy)
BFC
Walk home (1.5 mi)
Notes: I was tired and had a headache most of the day. Had a major sugar slip last weekend, and am still clearing that out of my system. Apparently, I have to go through the low-carb flu again...I haven't had a headache in so long, today was a shock!
Day 2
B: 1/2 US Wellness pemmican bar
L: 1/2 US Wellness pemmican bar
D: Chocolate chili, 1 US Wellness beef frank, 1 lamb sausage, guacamole
Tracy Anderson hipcentric DVD 1.2
Walk to work (4 mi)
Walk at lunch (easy)
BBB (teach)
Walk home (1.5 mi)
Note: Woke up at 5:10 am without an alarm. Hungry at wakening, muscles were tired on the walk to work. Physically tired, tight, and sore all day.
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